As affirmed in my recent blog, ‘A Moments Reflection’, one of the lovely unexpected consequences of setting out on my writing journey is that I encounter so many amazing and inspiring people. It is so uplifting to realise just how many kindred spirits exist. In sharing a little bit about them here, I aim to let their stories touch you too. We learn so much from each other. There is a synergistic quality that evolves from connecting and sharing; mutually enlightening, supportive, and strengthening.
I am doing things I have never done before, as the journey pushes my boundaries, and eases me beyond my comfort zone. One such thing is participating in radio interviews; it appears this is imperative for authors if they are to promote their work and reach out to as wide an audience as possible (writing, although hard work, is also very safe and insular, and somehow my ‘walls’ have insidiously retracted to create an increasingly small and comfortable space).
When my publishers publicist emailed me to invite me to participate in a live radio interview, was I ‘up for it’, my immediate response was, ‘Oh yes, of course!’ Then the realisation of my assertion swept through me, a flush of anxiety suddenly stopped me in my tracks. ‘What was I thinking of?’. The floodgate opened, sweeping every fragment of my self confidence and self belief along in it’s gushing path. My inner voice echoed in my mind, ‘what if….you’re not….you can’t….who do you think you are….??!!’
I was sooo nervous when the day arrived. Palms sweating, heart racing, I picked up the receiver, the telephone an instant convenient connection across ‘the pond’ to the radio station in New York. The producer ‘counted me in’, we were live on air (no pressure). A deep breath…
I was so relieved when I returned the phone to it’s charging station in the kitchen; I did it, I survived, somehow I found my words, they did not desert me. I felt exhilarated. A simple but significant feat. I’d climbed another mountain and reached the top, exhausted by my fearful anticipation, but so relieved to have ‘arrived’ in one piece. Time for a cup of tea!
But I meditate! How can I feel so unconfident, self doubting, insecure, anxious? Is it my watery star sign, my sensitivity? No matter, it is as it is, as it has been all my life. I have learned to navigate through my life, accepting this trait, my anxious sensitivity, as my companion and not my enemy. Meditation, my best and most trustworthy friend, takes my hand and comforts me as it leads me to the safe stillness at the centre of my beating heart, accepting of, embracing, every part of me.
Then there are the people I meet, whose light lights my light, who touch and inspire my spirit, energise my purpose. Their stories are to follow.
Every so often I reach a juncture on my journey, a point of awe, appreciation, and gratitude, when I am stopped in my tracks for a moment. I woke up this morning suddenly struck by how far I have travelled, and was compelled to pause and observe the landscape. In many ways I have done everything I set out to achieve; my first book is published, and my second one is emerging through the editing process as I write; I have a lovely studio in the Town Mill at the heart of Lyme Regis.
What an amazing journey writing my books has evolved into, and continues to do so as I traverse new and unchartered terrain; my simple quest to share my experience and understanding has pushed my boundaries further than I could every have anticipated. The journey has been both one and the same time amazing and challenging; my tenacity, self-belief, and passion paradoxically strengthened with each new, often unexpected, challenge.
I have met so many people I would never have encountered had I not embarked on this journey. Some have shaken my faith, but many more have inspired and enlightened my perspective, re-inspired and re-ignited my belief and passion, for which I am eternally grateful. My ambition in writing is to share my experience and understanding; but the return is so much more.
Simply by taking that first step, then the next, the terrain I traversed led me to landscapes and destinations I had not envisaged from the outset. In having the courage and willingness to ‘go for it’ (no matter what that is, small or ambitious) my path unfolded before me. I had to learn to let go of my fear of uncertainty, to trust that, my intention honest and positive, I am ‘held’, guided, loved, and especially ‘safe’, in spite of my self doubts, misgivings and worries. It seems to me that we are here to help and support each other; no one, in reality, ‘makes it alone’, we are never isolated no matter how much we may feel we are at times.
It is hard to put into words the unfolding lessons and insights, the deepening sense of awakening to my ‘aliveness’, the way colours in my life change depth, tone, and brightness as I simply ‘let go’, take a breath, a step…….and traverse. Thank you to everyone I have met on my journey so far and to all those I have yet to meet, for the light that shines within you, illuminating my path with colours and tones, and brightening my way.