As affirmed in my recent blog, ‘Grateful Reflection’, one of the lovely unexpected consequences of setting out on my writing journey is that I encounter so many amazing and inspiring people. It is so uplifting to realise just how many kindred spirits exist. In sharing a little bit about them here, I aim to let their stories touch you too. We learn so much from each other. There is a synergistic quality that evolves from connecting and sharing; mutually enlightening, supportive, and strengthening.
I am doing things I have never done before, as the journey pushes my boundaries, and eases me beyond my comfort zone. One such thing is participating in radio interviews; it appears this is imperative for authors if they are to promote their work and reach out to as wide an audience as possible (writing, although hard work, is also very safe and insular, and somehow my ‘walls’ have insidiously retracted to create an increasingly small and comfortable space).
When my publishers publicist emailed me to invite me to participate in a live radio interview, was I ‘up for it’, my immediate response was, ‘Oh yes, of course!’ Then the realisation of my assertion swept through me, a flush of anxiety suddenly stopped me in my tracks. ‘What was I thinking of?’. The floodgate opened, sweeping every fragment of my self confidence and self belief away from me in it’s gushing path. My inner voice echoed in my mind, ‘what if….you’re not….you can’t….who do you think you are….??!!’
I was sooo nervous when the day arrived. Palms sweating, heart racing, I picked up the receiver, the telephone an instant convenient connection to the radio station across ‘the pond’ in New York. The producer ‘counted me in’, we were live on air (no pressure…..). A deep breath…
I was so relieved when I returned the phone to it’s charging station in the kitchen; I did it, I survived, somehow I found my words, they did not desert me. I felt exhilarated. A simple but significant feat. I’d climbed another mountain and reached the top, exhausted by my fearful anticipation, but so relieved to have ‘arrived’ in one piece. Time for a cup of tea!
But I meditate! How can I feel so unconfident, self doubting, insecure, anxious? Is it my watery star sign, my sensitivity? No matter, it is as it is, as it has been all my life. I have learned to navigate through my life, accepting this trait, my anxious sensitivity, as my companion and not my enemy. Meditation, my best and most trustworthy friend, takes my hand and comforts me as it leads me to the safe stillness at the centre of my beating heart, accepting of, embracing, every part of me.
Then there are the people I meet, whose light lights my light, who touch and inspire my spirit, energise my purpose: and the story unfolds………